The tragi-comedy of choice

I don't get it! Why on earth was Amma cribbing over the Chennai Central seat (CPM was dying to have it) so much, when her party isn't even campaigning for it? D. Pandian, CPI’s state secretary and Chennai North candidate, may have had a better chance here against a candidate that can match his arrogance.

The Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam (DMK) isn't splitting too many hairs on the seat because they are sure of victory; the All India Anna Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam (ADMK) candidate S. M. K. M. A. Jinnah is sticking to his pocket borough of Triplicane while the Desiya Murpoku Dravida Kazhagam (DMDK) is going berserk printing pamphlets in English.

The BJP, which has forgotten Sukumaran Nambiar, hasn’t even fielded a candidate and the BSP’s Yunus Khan remains content with sending a campaign jeep into Triplicane Mosque in the dead of the night.

The Youth and Students Party, which seems strangely familiar to the Syrian Christian Youth Club, is parading its pathetic slogans on a tempo on Uttamar Gandhi Salai. As if all this wasn’t enough, Nungambakkam residents found themselves staring at Pyramid Party of India pamphlets (with a flowing white bearded Maharishi peeping out), as they started their vehicles in the morning.

I am sorry to say that I may have ended up voting for Hyder Bhai of the Manithaneeya Makkal Katchi (MMK), if I had a vote in the constituency. The joke that the Chennai Central campaign has been reduced to, has made even a party like MMK seem ideal to the few incurable romantic socialists that live in this constituency. No, there’s no sign of the Socialist Unity Centre of India (SUCI).

Coming home, to vote in Krishnagiri constituency, was fun. The Election Commission has played the perfect party pooper (literally) from the hinterland to the state capital, ensuring nobody has any campaign kondattam except the BJP.

This is the only party I find actually campaigning in Tamil Nadu. Kovai to Krishnagiri is dotted with saffron flags and banners with images of Advani, Karthik and Sarath Kumar and Subramanian Swamy on them. What a sangam;D

The flags don’t seem to bother either of the squabbling Dravidian twins, who are busy clashing from Luz Corner to Anchetti forest, apart from stoning the Central Industrial Security Force in Krishnagiri. The vinyl banners though, are a comic relief.

Much to the chagrin of my photographer roomie Kapil Ganesh, the election stalls of the DMK in Hosur are attracting more crowds than any others. I think I spotted late Com. Mohit Sen’s United Communist Party of India flag, among the many others, decorating a DMK stall opposite the town’s police station.

T. Rajendharr’s Latchiya Makkal Katchi’s teeny-weenie stall lay barren beside it. I actually appreciate the man for not joining the bandwagon of ‘election-parties’ that are the NDA in TN this time, but he really does push his luck to ensure the joke is on him doesn’t he?

The UPA may not be so lucky in Salem, where the Marumalarchi Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam’s mobilisation coupled with the Vanniyar loyalty to the PMK is punishing poor Mr. Thangkabalu. Yes, all you Tamil nationalists, I actually like Mega TV :)

Nowhere have I seen the DMDK so popular, as in my district. The night before polling two bubbly gentlemen came home to give our voting slips with the ‘Murasu’ (DMDK’s drum symbol) on it. These courageous poll code violators seemed like excited little children stealing mangoes in the dead of the night.

Despite their charm, I violated the Party line and pressed the ‘Udaya Suryan.’

Poll Punch:

1. All you Dakshin Kannada voters who think you did a favour to the cause of pub-going by voting for BJP rebel Ram Bhat, think again; he's backed the the Sri Ram Sene

2. Ever visited Kerala's Left Democatic Front website. There'a only CPM, CPI and Kerala Congress (Joseph). See Mr. smart pants RSP and AIFB, the CPM finally gave it to you tit-for-tat for South 24 Parganas and Dinhata. Long live saala Left Unity!